It's become a fad these days with social media to make your life seem picture-perfect and to only share the advancements of your career, the news of your engagement to the "love of your life," the house you just bought, or the gorgeous selfie that you just took. People have called me cynical, but I like to think of myself as a realist. I try to share the good and the bad. No life is perfect nor should it be! If your life is always wonderful, you'll get so used to it that you won't appreciate that greatness anymore. We all need some low times in order to really ride out the highs. This post is my effort to un-glorify (that's not a word, but let's pretend it is) my life here and also to inform people that volunteering abroad comes with its own set of work challenges (like you didn't already know that). What I'd like to share here is the ugly side of my job. The frustrating, infuriating, and hair-splitting obnoxiousness that comes from working in a developing country that is heavily reliant on foreign aid. Enjoy.
10 Frustrations that Come with Volunteering in a Developing Country
1. The Most Common: People Always Asking You for Things
"Give me my money!" It might be money, food, clothes, mosquito nets, your shoes, whatever. No matter how many times you tell people that you are a volunteer, they will still beg you to give them things.
2. How can I put it nicely....Lack of Self Motivation?
It's not that people are lazy. They work very hard at their day-to-day lives. Sometimes people don't have enough self-confidence to try something new and sometimes they would just rather sit in their yard and listen to the radio rather than help themselves.
3. Conformity
In a rural village, there are very few outside ideas coming in. People follow traditions and cultural norms and don't typically deviate from them. While individualism is valued in many places, Malawians value collectivism. They don't want to stand out from the crowd; not do they want to be the center of attention (unless it's for soccer recognition). This means that it can be difficult to encourage people to try new things especially things that will put them on display. People don't want their neighbors talking about them because they tried something new and failed or because they looked or acted "strangely."
4. Trainings and Allowances
In a country with foreign aid so interwoven with its development history, Malawians have become accustomed to receiving something in return for their time (because learning new knowledge and skills isn't enough??). If an NGO comes to the village to do a training on a topic and invites a specific group of people to come, the expectation is that those people will receive an allowance for their time and also for a meal if the training falls during a mealtime. Many people, when they hear that a training is voluntary, will slyly sneak out of the meeting, pretending to go to the bathroom or to take a call.
5. You'll Always Be the Mzungu
This point, at face value, applies to volunteers who don't fit the racial norm of the country; HOWEVER, that is not to say that those who do blend in don't face the same challenges as soon as they open their mouths. No matter what you do or where you go, you'll always be a foreigner. People will always stare. You will usually get mzungu-priced when shopping in the market or riding a mini bus. Drunk men will yell at you and ask you to marry them. We say it's like living in a fish bowl. All of your actions are watched closely. Someone is ALWAYS watching.
Side note: mzungu means foreigner for those of you who don't know
6. Foreign Ideas = Witchcraft
Much like how in #3 we learned that conformity is key, this point lies in the same vein. Ideas about witchcraft are still very popular in rural villages. It is a common belief that people go to singangas (natural doctors) to put curses on others so that they can't have babies, so their business fails, so that they contract HIV, etc. Sometimes new ideas can be thought of as too different to the point where they must be a form of witchcraft.
7. Damsel in Distress Syndrome
People like to blame all of their problems on poverty and complain about it. It's a good platform especially when appealing to the ethos of people abroad. They know that they can beg and plead for help and that foreign aid will give it to them at some point. It's much easier to use this strategy than to do something for yourself. Again, it's not that people are lazy, they've just become too reliant on a knight in shining armor coming to help them and know the role of the helpless princess too well.
8. Be my Child's Teacher....For Free!
This is another plee that comes from the village. Because I occasionally enjoy playing with the kids and helping them with their homework or their reading, I am instantly seen as a teacher. Even though I've repeatedly told people in the community that my job is HEALTH work, they still want me to teach their 3 year olds how to speak English.
9. The Inability to Think Long-Term
Again, an understandable trait considering people are living in poverty so deeply entrenched in their lives that thinking about how they will feed their family and buy soap to wash clothes consumes the majority of their thinking. That statement you see on sappy commercials is true; people live on less than $1 a day. The desperation can consume their lives. But the problem with this is that people don't think about how their actions effect their environment, the availability of future resources, and their children's futures. Having your kid help you in the field rather than go to school will help put food on the table for that season, but what about that child's future? On the flip side, if the kid doesn't help, the parents can't afford to send the child to school.
10. Africa Time
Africa time basically means that people will almost always be 15 minutes to 3 hours late to anything. It's like that family member who you lie to and say dinner is at 6:30 when it's actually at 7. You can either let this lack of punctuality infuriate you, or learn to appreciate it and never rush again. Because there's always time for a side conversation (with everyone) on your way.
That all being said, I understand the reasons/excuses behind most of these behaviors. I do; I get it. And when I'm feeling patient, they don't bother me much. But it's THOSE DAYS when it's blazingly hot, you over prepared, and you're missing some other fun social event for a meeting, and then only two people show up after 2 hours.....that make you wish you'd just stayed lying on your bamboo mat all day.